Love is an essential element of “Life” defined by Webster as “the quality that distinguishes a vital and functioning being from a dead body or inanimate matter.”

Webster offers many definitions for “love” but when one feels this thing we call “love,” no definition is adequate or necessary. It is an indescribable FEELING that is a vital, dominating and motivating component of consciousness. It is an uncontrollable feeling that wells up from the depths of our very being which can often be confusing.

Those of us who have experienced true love can make the distinction between a human, emotional attraction to some finite entity on the one hand and the intangible “animating principle having no material body or form” (Webster) on the other.

Love, according to Webster, is “a strong affection; a warm attachment; to feel a passion, devotion or tenderness for.” When this intense feeling is focused on a particular person, it often culminates in a marriage that initiates a life-long relationship. If this union is based on a true spiritual love it is as lasting as the infinity from which it comes.

LOVE is more than a clinical analysis, so at this Valentine season, forgive me if I feel compelled to express gratitude for my marriage to a special lady who taught me what love is all about.

I began getting that “strong affection and warm attachment” for a young lady I met after returning from overseas during WWII. We began our marriage in 1948, had three kids, and shared a perfect relationship that’s still going strong after 62 years.

1998 Davis and Marilyn Goss’ 50th wedding anniversary

I think ours is a special bond. Since surviving Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans and relocating back home in New England, we have had the opportunity to prove the tightness of our bonding on a different level. Marilyn’s condition requires that she receive specialized care in a nursing facility; this necessitates my living alone for the first time in my life.

Our special, lasting bond is based on a unique “philosophy” we have shared over the years. It is a unique approach to life and the resolution of any problems one may encounter.

Since the onset of our differing life styles, I have written a book in an attempt to share our perspective with others. Entitled “The Science of LIVING BETTER FOREVER,” it outlines a continuity of scientific laws and principles that, when properly implemented, assure harmonious life experiences with predictable certainty. My book is available in print form through Amazon or an expanded version can be downloaded as an E-book from my website.

Although we are physically separated, we see each other on a regular basis. Circumstances have changed but the intensity of our love has not. She’s still the same special person she was when we first met.

She is genuinely happy in her new “home.” Her every need is lovingly met by wonderful, trained professional people who have more than professional feelings for her. Little wonder that I have developed a “strong affection,” admiration and gratitude for them. Because of them, I am experiencing a different sense of love on a level that embraces the entire staff and appreciation for the facility’s character and management.

This is not what we had planned for our “senior” years, but under the circumstances, we have much cause for gratitude.

May your Valentine’s Day be as joyous and love filled as ours!

But if you will be kind enough to indulge an old timer, this day marks my wedding anniversary.  My wife and I have been married 62 years today and when I tell people about it, they stand in awe of such longevity.  It comes as no surprise to us, we  expected it.

It tears me apart when I read the current divorce rate is at 50% and so many couples who are still married but admittedly are not happy.  We can testify to the fact that a marriage can get  better with time.  When there is a genuine bond and intent to give 100% by each partner, there is no room for conflict or friction.

We’ve been through a lot together and the tough times contribute just as much to the bond as the good ones.  (You might want to review the Blog I posted earlier entitled “Meaningful Visits”).

At the risk of seeming commercial, if you are contemplating marriage or are in one now, you can understand why I urge you to read my book, “The Science of LIVING BETTER FOREVER”.   It presents a good solid foundation upon which to build all life experiences.  It sure worked (and is still working) for us.

Marriage is a team effort and the joy of sharing grows as the anniversaries pile up.  I hope you all can have as perfect life together as we have.

Over the years, my wife and I have supported each other based on the laws and principles outlined in my book, “The Science of LIVING BETTER FOREVER.” We would call ours a “textbook” marriage with its share of growth phases with children, professions, good times and tough times. We learned how to handle problems and keep the high times in perspective.

So when it became obvious that her needs would be best met as a resident of an extended care facility, we experienced the usual traumas of separation. It was not fun; but we did have a common principle to fall back on that had served us well for more than 60 years of togetherness.

This kind of separation is repeated countless times every day. It causes many to suffer the extreme traumas of physical separation and unimaginable emotional strain and anxiety.

No matter how well prepared we thought we were, its impact on us was no different. I had to learn to live alone for the first time in my life. She had to adapt to a new surroundings, a new social environment and being the recipient of care and attention foreign to her previous lifestyle. But, as I mentioned before, we had something going for us. In my book (more accurately our book) we set forth a foundation that enabled us to see through the discords of life and adhere to proven scientific principles devoid of the usual distracting “fluff” and human emotion.

It has now been about 2 ½ years since hurricane Katrina forces us to accept this new chapter in our lives. She has adapted well to her new “home.” She has new friends and has the same bubbly personality she has always had. She continues to be an inspiration to other residents and, especially, to me. What could have been a trying and burdensome situation is now the source of extreme gratitude and appreciation of how things work out for the best if we allow them to do so.

Our married experiences have been as perfect as one could imagine, but it seems that “all-wise” nature has one more level of joy and love reserved for us as we continue on our journey through life. It is a privilege I enjoy every time we visit. Our visits connect us on a level of joy and love beyond anything I could have imagined. It is impossible for me to articulate here, but I am convinced that these circumstances define a special place reserved for us that intensifies our love for each other and the world.

From our personal experiences, my wife and I can assure anyone faced with the similar circumstances that this phase of growth can serve as the basis for your Living Better Forever.

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